Thursday, October 22, 2015

Train stations in the US and the UK resemble each other in that they both have trains running through them.  They also sell food.  That is where the similarities end.

American train stations are organized around the assumption that passengers will arrive no more than 30 seconds prior to their trip and will leave the station no more than 30 seconds after their arrival.  Those of you who have gotten to South Station in Boston or Penn Station in New York oh, say, five minutes early, and looked for a place to sit while waiting for your train are probably either still looking or have already resigned yourselves to a semi-permanent condition of hopelessness that may begin to creep into other aspects of your lives.  In short, there is basically nowhere to park your keister in many large, big city train stations, and I believe this is for one of two reasons:
  • Reason 1: Train station architects have seen too many action movies and assumes that instead of waiting patiently for the train and then ambling aboard, most passengers will arrive while chased by bad guys, cinematically sprint through the station with little regard for the sunglass racks, postcard stands, or Sbarro chafing dishes that may get carelessly rearranged in the process, and leap onto the train just as the doors of the 5:06 to Washington are closing.  
  • Reason 2: Municipal governments know full well the sordid acts (only some of which can be discussed on this blog because this is the internet, after all) that can take place on a seat at a train station (everyone's got a fetish, be it for molded plastic or stainless steel) and have tried to eliminate any fodder for depravity by systematically removing the seating so sympathetically incorporated in the original design.
So you stand, watching the departures board until your platform is announced, and then run frantically onto the train in an inelegant imitation of the imaginary passenger described above in Reason 1.  And then you get to where you're going, at which point your needs are covered for the next 30 seconds.

But suppose you are laden with heavy bags and might need to get both yourself and your earthly possessions out of the station?  No luggage trolleys, but there's always the dragging option.  Maybe you want to grab some reasonably healthy food before going home?  Sbarro offers three of your five a day in the shiny food section of the pyramid.  And what if you don't happen to live at the train station?  Outside of a few major cities in the Northeast, you could try walking, find a cab, or wait for the twice-a-day bus service.

So how great is Great Britain in the area of train stations?  As much as people here complain about the state of rail travel, the answer is very.  Train stations in the UK generally give you the feeling that the person responsible for their design may have once met a real, live human.  Stations may not be beautiful, may not have climate control systems, may not have Sbarro, but they address human travel needs 30 minutes (not seconds) before departure and 30 minutes after arrival. 

And by golly, you can sit!  You won't find chaises longues or high-backed leather (or even pleather) armchairs, but you will encounter pieces of horizontal furniture that the British call "seats."  When your train finally comes (often late, as a helpful reminder that the UK is not Europe) and you arrive at your destination, you will find that someone has clearly gone through a flowchart of the needs a human might experience after stepping onto the platform.  Laden with heavy bags?  Here are luggage trolleys.  Oh, but they probably cost a pretty penny.  Not so; a mere one pound deposit will do the trick!  Feeling peckish?  Yes, we offer food that shimmers like Sbarro's finest, but you could also try the station's miniature versions of chain grocery stores that sell produce, dairy, baked goods, dry goods, and meat at prices that match the large supermarkets.  And if you don't live at the train station?  Well, hop on a bus to the destination of your choice in this medium-sized English city.  OK, I'll just stop first to buy three long novels so I can enjoy the wait until this evening's bus departure.  Quit dallying, the bus is coming and if you miss it, you may have to wait up to 15 minutes!


2 comments:

  1. I enjoyed your amusing and imaginary tale of these fanciful Utopian bus and train stations. But now, best get your head on straight. If people were permitted to sit whilst awaiting the arrival of their transport vehicle, well I shudder to think what depredations they might visit on one another, from the comfort of ch_irs or b_nches (I can't even write out the words for fear of giving someone the idea of s_tting.)

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    1. Wouldn't want to give them any ideas! Thanks for commenting, but who wrote this? The signature says "unknown."

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